Wednesday, December 16, 2009

A Chipmunk Christmas Song For Omar Minaya

Season's greetings, SMFs! The Studious Metsimus staff (all two of us) would like to wish our readers (all two of you) best wishes for a happy and healthy holiday season. Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa or Festivus, the holidays are always a special time to reflect on the events of the past year.

At Studious Metsimus, we'd like to reflect on the Hot Stove season. Rumor has it that it's better to give than to receive, so we'd like to give Omar Minaya a special song that we hope he receives.

It's a song parody of the classic Christmas song by the Chipmunks. You may know it by its given name, "The Chipmunk Song". Hopefully, between signing every member of the Phi Catcha Catcha fraternity and singing his favorite "once we get our guys back" ditty (Thanks, Joe D), Omar Minaya will realize that Mets fans don't give a sh*t about the opening of the Catchers' Warehouse unless they open an annex next to it that specializes in Hollidays and Bays. Enjoy the song!

All right, you SMFs! Ready to sing your song?
I'll say we are!
F*ck Yeah!
Let's sing it now!

Okay, Solly?


Okay, George Theodore?


Okay, Taryn? Taryn?


Christmas, Christmas time is here.

Time to sign Bay for five years.
We're not good, but we're not last.
Hurry, Omar, sign Bay fast.
No more throwing us for a loop
Or else the next GM'll be Coop.
We can't stand you having us wait.
Please sign Bay, don't be late!

No more treating fans like poop.
Don't incur the wrath of Coop.
Omar, hope we set you straight.
Please sign Bay, don't be late!
Move your ass or accept your fate.
Please sign Bay, don't be late!

Don't give us that look, Omar! You brought this upon yourself. You felt the need to sign Chris Coste and Henry Blanco while the Red Sox were pouncing on John Lackey and the Phillies were scooping up Roy Halladay.

The song above is not as much a parody as it is a statement echoed by Mets fans everywhere. We must not have a repeat of the 2009 season. You must do whatever it takes to improve this team.

If Mets fans don't get a power hitter like Jason Bay in their Christmas stockings, you will be forever known as the Bay/Omar Butcher. I'm sure you know what will happen to you if the team doesn't improve dramatically next season. It'll be far worse than just incurring the wrath of Coop.

On that note, I can't think of a better time to wish all our readers a Merry Christmas! The Studious Metsimus staff want you to be safe this holiday season so you can come back in one piece for the 2010 season. Wish we could say the same about Omar Minaya...



Coop said...

I don't think you can use the term Wrath of Coop enough. Good job!

DyHrdMET said...

I'm kind of scared now. The Wrath of Coop. When that happens, I think it will be the start of a Mets fans' mutiny.

Good stuff Ed

Solly said...

The Wrath of Coop sounds like a Star Trek movie!


Denise said...

I read it a little later than I promised, but still, great job my friend!!